come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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