dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I'm at about main and main street
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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