i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
