4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Randomize
