This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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