I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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