I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
