I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
