dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
