i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
