it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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