Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
