Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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