that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
