did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
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