What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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