He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
