Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
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The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
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Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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