very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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