i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
