dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
