Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
