uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
