Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
