My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
