is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
