I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
