Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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