i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize