I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Randomize
