Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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