if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
