she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
