Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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