thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
