So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
