he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent