yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?