Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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