I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
he had hair everywhere except his balls
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.