can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear