Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
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why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
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I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick