She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
