Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
