White coat. Heels.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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