When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
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