Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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