Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
