i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
