it was like his penis was on wheels.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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