she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize