Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
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He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
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i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize