I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
We had to coat check the pizza.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
