singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
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