we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
