Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I intend to get homeless drunk
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
