and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
