Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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