I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
