Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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