Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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