I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize