great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
