Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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