I puked a lego.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.