You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
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Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
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YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.