they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?