just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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