Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.