I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Randomize
