Quick, to the slutcave!
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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