just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
