thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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