I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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