We're facebook friends in real life
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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