She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
